Art of Touch – How to touch a woman
What if there was a way to make women go ape shit bananas over you?… without even speaking. What if you could bring out a woman’s inner animal, that would want to do very naughty things to your banana?
Ook ook Eureka!
The fact is, women love to be touched. Men have written stories, poems, made art and movies to honor this very fact. The guys that managed to get laid wrote huge books about their experiences. The Kama Sutra being the biggest bragging story a guy has ever told. Fuck that guy! I nearly killed myself trying some of that shit.
So we all know that lots of sexy touching books were made but did anyone bother asking the question how do you get there in the first place? How do you touch a woman in the right way, so she wants to try that stupid spine breaking sex with you?
Well the monkeys in lab coats have figured a few things out in the last 30 years. There is some primal behavior that we still do to this day. This behavior hasn’t changed in a long ass time. So here I give you the latest in primal girly touching technology.
In the Beginning…
How comfortable the girl is with being touched DEPENDS 98% on YOU and how comfortable YOU are with it.
Art of touch: On Awkward Touching
Awkward touching freaks girls out. Even in the case here of the “hover hand” (shown above) not touching freaks girls out. So what is the real cause of the freak out?
REASON: A lack of confidence
Confidence is the key to preventing the girls’ creepy alarms from going off. So how the hell do you get confident? You can’t just BE confident one day, can you? Well true confidence is a long road but what if someone told you how to act confident? Would you be confident then?
No you wouldn’t! Confidence is gained through experience. If you are good at something and if someone asked you to do it in front of a few people who wanted to learn it. You could probably do it. Right?
Well how did you get good at it? Well you worked hard. Over time all your failures and successes built up your confidence.
You now know what not to do; from failure.
You also know what to do; from success.
I’m going to show you the path you must walk and then you must walk it. If you do this, step by step you will learn from my successes what to do. So you have a map of the path to walk.
If you make mistakes you will learn vital information that is key in becoming successful.
“Failures are stepping stones on the path of success”
I’m writing this because I didn’t have map to guide me when I started. Back then it was almost impossible to improve your skills with women. That time is over!
Knowing the difference between awkward and attractive is the first step. Hesitation (picture above) broadcasts insecurity like the “bat sign”. Everyone can see it… except you.
If you hesitantly take a girl’s hand, both of you will be intensely aware of the contact and it will just be fucking awkward. On the other hand, if you just grab it naturally, playfully, and start moving somewhere, most times the girl will unquestioningly follow you and be chill about it. It shows you are not nervous, that YOU are a physical, sexual, cool, and experienced man and not awkward.
Art of Touch: The Path
There are a number of mandatory physical steps required before a woman will sleep with you. Women are very sensitive to touch and thus you need to know how to smoothly move from one step to the next.
This is called kino escalation, where kino means touch.
Kino escalation is the art of touching a woman where she becomes more comfortable with you over time. The goal is to increase the touching and intimacy of the touching over time in a comfortable way for her. The other aspect of kino escalation is getting her acclimatized to your body’s proximity to her.
It’s a man’s job to start the touching and escalate the physical contact with a woman he finds attractive. You cannot depend on women to take these steps. Most women are too afraid to start physical contact with a man because he will make assumptions about her interest in him.
If you do not kino escalate the woman you have a very good chance that you are going directly into the friend-zone. Where she will assume that you are only interested in friendship. Trying to kiss a girl if you have not been touching her first will freak a girl out because kissing is at a certain phase of the escalation.
Guys you are the ones that are supposed to be the risk takers. This is true in a historical sense if you look at cave men hunting a wild animal or rushing to protect your tribe from a dangerous animal.
This biological female expectation has not gone away. So it is expected that you should be the one to take the risk and lead the way through a series of physical steps escalating towards sex.
This gives women “the power” of rejection. Something most men are afraid of. Everything about rejection sucks. However done in the right way and in the correct order you can smoothly transition from one step to another all the way to sex.
This system was tested by thousands on men all over the world and the collated data was then tested again and again. If you use this method correctly you remove “negative touching” from being the reason she will reject you. Allowing you to figure out why she is really rejecting you. A very useful step in the process of learning how to get better with women. Remember failure is the path to success. This process I’m teaching you will get rid of a large amount of the rejections.
Art of Touch: The organic process
You can’t learn this by reading about it. You must put this knowledge into action. If you understand the process and test it you will learn something from every interaction you have with women. This skill will drastically improve all your interactions with all women and give you a deeper insight into why they behave the way they do.
Art of Touch: Time frame
Touching is so fundamental to getting attraction from a girl that you must do it from the very earliest moment in the interaction. Even on the approach you can touch straight away.
Escalation of touching is not a checklist that you must get through as fast as possible, but a testing system to see how comfortable she is with you during the interaction.
Women will react differently in different situations/environments.
A girl in a book shop is going to be way more sensitive to your touch and react faster than a drunk girl in a club. It’s an extreme example but it illustrates the point that it’s up to you to adjust your kino escalation to each girl.
So you will adjust your touching from woman to woman and take into account your environment. How uncomfortable you are is not as important as how comfortable she is. Her comfort dictates the pace of the interaction. It is your job to be constantly testing and checking how comfortable she is.
Jumping too far forward in the interaction results in discomfort and the further you jump forward, the worse the reaction from embarrassment to full blown freak out. Imagine walking up to a total stranger and grabbing her pussy. That’s the most extreme case of jumping the sequence that is not outright rape.
However if a girl skips ahead in the process you can consider all lower methods of touching to be unlocked. Ex: A girl walks up to you in a club and starts rubbing your dick. Should you be worried about touching her hand? HELL NO!
The best times to escalate your touching are at high points in the interaction. If she’s laughing it’s a good moment to escalate. If she’s enjoying the interaction she will want to play too. She will escalate you to move the interaction forward. The more she touches you the more she wants to move the interaction forward with you. She might skip ahead (probably not grabbing your dick) and when she does, you should escalate your touching.
Think of this as the touching game
- Rule #1: You always start the game
- Rule #2: always be escalating
- Rule #3: she will alert you when you make a mistake
- Rule #4: when you make a mistake go back to the type of touching you were doing before you escalated.
- Rule #5: when she escalates you, advance 1 step in the escalation.
- Rule #6: Don’t stop the game till after sex or she ends the game by leaving.
- Rule #7: If she escalates you beyond where you are in the process then continue the game from where she left off.
- Rule #8: if she squirms, winces or pulls away a little don’t freak out. It just means she’s not ready for that step in the game yet. Go back one or two steps in the escalation game.
Girls are letting you know they are interested in continuing the interaction by continuing to interact with you. When they touch you they are helping you to build a physical connection and are interested in seeing where things go.
Art of Touch: Eye Contact
Eye contact is the first step. Start your conversation shortly after eye contact.
Art of Touch: Conversation
It is important that you weave your conversation skills through all the touching and escalation. You must be able to talk while performing these actions. You will be responsible for moving the conversation forward for most of the interaction, and having good conversational skills is also important. Once the girls’ interest is sparked she will start to talk more and more as the interaction moves forward.
Art of Touch: Touch Method
Any opportunity that you can, you should be touching and then cutting it off. It generates fast intimacy and makes you exude confidence, experience and flintiness.
At the start of the interaction touching is fast and light and by the end is long and intense. You become more comfortable with this process through having many different experiences.
Building a mental model of positive responses and negative ones that will ultimately guide you in all your future experiences.
Art of Touch: First Touch
Hands and arms are normally the first level of Kino. Shaking hands, tapping someone on the shoulder these are the things we use to get their attention. First level of kino are things that we do on a daily basis. We do most of these things without thinking, and that’s important. If you meet someone from japan and you put out your hand to shake, and he and he starts to bow, you both feel awkward because this is supposed to be a normal unconscious interaction.
Touching hands is very neutral in most cases. However there can be a form of romantic hand touching (above image). Just note that the hands are quite often the first point of contact. Romantic Hand touching will be covered later.
Arm brushing: Almost not touching her
Light touching: Her arm to emphasize your points
Arm touching: Standing next to her with your arm touching hers
Shoulders are also pretty neutral but I have seen guys hang in there too long which gets awkward. All of this touching can be done without hesitation on first meeting someone. The duration of these touches are very important. They should be as long as a handshake (of a person you just met) or shorter at this stage of the process.
Touching the elbow or upper arm can also fall into the “first touch” category but is normally done by more experienced guys. If you didn’t touch her elbow on your first touch then it should be next on your to do list.
Art of Touch: Second Touch
You need to be comfortable touching this way to not set off any alarms. So I’m sorry guys. To learn how to touch a girl you need to creep a few girls out first. This you will learn pretty fast. The first negative reaction you get will burn into your memory forever. After that you will know exactly how long to touch for. Keep in mind that this is a little more sustained touch than the “first touch”.
Art of Touch: Third Touch
It is most effective to do to in conjunction with a statement. While pointing at her you say: “You are fun, I like that”. Use this touching during a conversation to make a point and after break away from her and talk to someone else.
Putting your hand on a few peoples’ backs at the same time while talking is a great way to mask the fact that you are touching her. Approaching two people from behind and touching their backs is seen as a friendly gesture especially if you are offering to buy the next round of drinks. Alternatively “Hey guys I just saw two girls fighting outside the toilets. Are all your girls accounted for?”
The side hug: It’s a friendly hug that if done confidently will not trip any alarm bells. Can be done to multiple people at the same time because it’s the “I’m a friend” hug.
It is at around this point that you can offer her arm in arm escorting if the situation allows. You can do this earlier in the interaction if you already know the girl. I’m putting arm in arm escorting here because it works better after you have side-hugged her. She will be more willing to follow you somewhere after the side hug.
Art of Touch: Fifth Touch
Middle back touch just at the bottom of the shoulder-blades. On the back strap of the bra. This is part of the escalation process but is just a stepping stone. This is more sustained than your upper back touch.
Art of Touch: Leading
It is at about this point that (depending on how well your conversation is going) you can lead the girl around your current location. You can hold her elbow, take her hand or grab her wrist and lead her to an area where you can start more intimate types of touching.
Art of Touch: Sixth Touch
If you are seated, which you should be at this point in the interaction, you can go for a light knee touch. If you are seated next to a girl some types of touching are going to be more difficult than others. Don’t panic and try force the next step in the process. Just patiently wait till there is an opportunity later in the interaction.
Art of Touch: Ping Pong effect
Touching a girl 10 times on the arm is not going to hurt your chances. I like to look at touching like a person learning how to play ping pong. You play the same shot 10 times before you use a backhand. It’s similar in the touching game. You might be touching her back and elbow 10 times before you move to the knee touch. This is totally acceptable. Touching is good as long as she’s reacting well to it.
Art of Touch: Seventh Touch
Lower back or flank: This is the borderline between friend and potential lover. The physical closeness to her ass and the area below her rib cage (flank) can trigger the girls’ creepy alarm super fast. It’s important that she is comfortable with you touching her there. The only way to get this step is through the succession of touching before this.
Art of Touch: Tickling
If you are seated (or standing) next to a girl then this next step can be taken in the form of tickling. Try to find out if she’s ticklish. Ask right before you start tickling her, not given her the opportunity to respond. Tickling builds a strong bond between people because it’s something our parents do to us as children. Once we learn the skill from them we apply it to other people like our friends and siblings. This normally moves things from friendship to a deeper connection. Using this to overcome the creepy alarm by the lower back is very effective.
Art of Touch: Eighth Touch
Deliberate intense face touching (example above) is something that should be avoided until you have some experience. This type of touching is perfectly acceptable but requires the man to have concrete confidence. So if you are starting out I suggest the following.
Brushing (or pretending to brush) something off of her face.
Talking very closely with your face touching hers because the environment is extremely loud.
Touching an interesting necklace/earring she’s wearing, meanwhile allowing your fingers to lightly caress her neck “wow you have such soft skin”
Play with her hair (ponytails and braided hair are great for this)
Playfully pinching her cheeks
You will notice that all this kind of touching falls under the label of FUN and a little childish. You should be having fun and she should be enjoying the fact that you are having fun.
Art of Touch: Ninth Touch
Upper thigh touch: She will notice that you are getting more confident with your touching and it will register that your hand is in close proximity to her genitals. However if you have done everything correctly up until this point you should be fine. Keep in mind that the conversation you are having at this point is also aiding this process.
You should touch her as if you are not aware of what you are doing. If it comes across that you are doing this deliberately she will become uncomfortable very fast.
“Oh my god [touch thigh] I do that too!” [release touch]
This is an incidental touch and will not trip the girls’ creepy guy alarm system. The subsequent thigh touches can then become more deliberate over time.
Art of Touch: Tenth Touch
Moving a girl around by the waist: At this point you can lead a girl around by her waist. Girls respond differently to this depending on their body image. Chubby or fatter girls can have an issue with a man holding them around the waist and leading them in this manner. If the girl is chubby and squirms at this point in the interaction then just know it’s not something you are doing wrong. This step in the process is not necessary but it can boost your overall success. Leading should always be used to move a girl to a better location for intimate touching.
Turning a girl to face you: If you use this to turn a girl around to face you move closer to her. Your bodies should be touching lightly. If she is comfortable it’s time for a…
Art of Touch: Spanking
Yes this is the time where spanking becomes acceptable in the interaction. Guys only really start getting comfortable with spanking a girls ass after they have mastered the full escalation, from meeting till sex. Spanking a girl is a naughty type of kino and can be ping pong’ed throughout the rest of the interaction. You might have seen some guys spank a girl as the first touch, but this requires high confidence and you must have mastered the observation of female body language.
Art of Touch: Front Hug
The front hug is different from the side hug. The front hug is very intimate. You know she likes you if you give her a front hug.
NOTE: If your genitals touch her and she’s comfortable with it she is quite attracted to you.
If she arches away so that your crotch does not touch her then you are hugging like friends and family. This is a big distinction between the types of frontal hugs.
When a female member of your family hugs you they lean forward unconsciously moving their genitals away from you so as not to get accidentally aroused. Women who are not attracted to you yet, will do the same thing.
Front hugs are great for segueing into the first kiss. Depending on the levels of sexual tension.
Art of Touch: Eleventh Touch
Interlocking fingers: This is a very romantic gesture and can be used in the leading process. If you take a girls hand and start walking toward where you want to go…
Then you can slow down after a time and shift your hand position to interlocked fingers. Then you are walking side by side like a couple. She will be expecting a kiss soon.
If you are seated and tickle a girl you can test her interest by playing hand games. Palm reading, judging how soft her hands are, looking at her watch etc. During this process you can also interlock fingers. If done right she will be expecting a kiss soon.
Art of Touch: Kiss the girl
Girls normally wait and wait for the guy to make his move. The guy is never quite sure when it’s time to kiss the girl. If you are following these steps it becomes more apparent where you are in the interaction. When you know where you are in the interaction you relax and enjoy the process more this also relaxes the girl more. Then you can just keep doing your kino until you see your opportunity to kiss. Kissing happens mainly after quite a lot of romantic touching.
Art of Touch: Twelfth Touch
The stomach is a very intimate area for women. For guys it’s the area that connects your chest to your hips.
Remember we want women to touch our dicks! Girls don’t want people to touch their genitals unless men do everything correctly. Touching a girl’s stomach varies in importance from girl to girl. If you are allowed access to the stomach you are stepping over the threshold from romantic touching into the sexual arena.
This step can be bypassed but it is a great indicator for you and her to feel a deeper connection and ignite the flame of passion.
If you get resistance from a girl when touching her stomach there is normally a more pressing problem that you should try to find out.
- Your conversation is boring her and you haven’t figured it out till now.
- She has menstrual cramps and is very sensitive.
- She ate bad food (is too polite to mention it to you)
- She’s bloated from drinking too much (and shy about her stomach)
- She’s a bit chubby and is self-conscious (you might like it but she doesn’t)
Throughout this entire process it’s important to observe her behavior and get accustomed to women’s body language and visual cues.
Art of Touch: Thirteenth Touch
Ass squeeze: Yes contrary to popular belief the ass grabbing should happen (for most girls) after the kiss or during the kiss. Location normally dictates the acceptable levels of ass grabbing. A drunk girl in a club is going to be more ok with this than the girl in a park during the middle of the day.
After the Make-out (Romantic Hand Touching)
This is the type of hand holding you will want to do to get her attention. It’s firm and deliberate and dominating. She’s in your hands. Transition from this type of hand holding to leading her to a better location to get things more sexual.
The romantic hand holding comes in different forms. The (above) picture shows pinky fingers locked together. You will see couples do this in public. If you do this with a girl you just met it will start to form a more romantic bond. As will interlocked fingers.
The following are all romantic types of touching.
- Placing her head to rest on your shoulder
- Moving your face into her neck and smelling her
- Lightly stroking her face with your finger, close in, looking into her eyes
- Running your fingers through her hair, close in, looking into her eyes
- Holding her behind the neck with your palm to the side of her neck, looking into her eyes
If you get a girl to this level in the interaction then you have mastered the first chapter of touching.
Now get out there and make some mistakes guys! If you need any help you know where to find us. Best of luck and may all your touching dreams come true!
The next chapter is going to be “The Art of Sexual Touching”
Art of Touch: by Sky