Dating in Bangkok
The dating scene in Bangkok can be a bit tricky. Dating in Bangkok has a few barriers to entry. Language, culture and self expression. All will be explained in this attempt to bring you into the modern dating scene in Bangkok.
During my time in Bangkok I’ve dated many different kinds of Thai women. I’ve watched friends and students date girls and I’ve seen all kinds of oddities. The task before me seems like a mammoth one but for the sake of you guys I’m going to try.
Online Dating in Bangkok
The stigma with online dating in Thailand in general is very different to many other places in the world. I think it’s mega popular because people are so shy here and they need a way to start an interaction without using the direct methods of walking up to a person and starting a conversation.
That said, you should at least give online dating a shot. Lots of attractive girls are looking for a normal guy.
The vibe I get from the girls online is a frustrated one. After making my own fake girl account I realized why.
To be honest it’s a barrage of stupid horny guys. For fuck sake I got sent dick pics as the first message more than once. So just by being “normal” you are already winning the race.
Online dating can work if you know what you are doing. The main issue with online dating is dealing with girls short attention span when using a dating app/site.
Strike when the fire is hot because if she looses interest in you in the first few seconds of the chat there is a good possibility that she wont respond again.
If you do drum up a conversation with a girl online then chat for a bit but transition to LINE or WHATSAPP, as fast as possible.
Once on a chat app the interaction becomes a little more legit. Both people take it a bit more seriously and you can then start building rapport and then go for the meet up.
My experience with dating sites
dateinasia.com: Dropped this site pretty fast. Awkward to use and was very limiting. No one was assigned to user experience when they made this site.
Its for all of Asia and the amount of Thai girls was too limited to be an effective option for spending my time.
You see dating sites are so hit and miss that its important to use the site and a bulk message system.
thaifriendly.com: The girls on this site have zero tolerance for bullshit. This site has by far the worst guys on it. So make even a mild mistake and you will be blocked.
On the positive side I’ve gotten many more dates off this site than any other website.
The trick to success with this site is paying for it. Unlimited messages allows you to bulk send messages which makes this site viable.
You need to bulk send massages to find the girl that’s bored and wants some attention. Once you have found her chat till you get her LINE or WHATSAPP.
badoo.com: The girls on Badoo seem to be more into dating and looking for a boyfriend than some of the other sites. A “bad boy” image on this site will make you toxic.
I haven’t done well on this site but many of my friends and students have. I think my fashion style really let me down on this site lol.
skout.com: Skout is a good app. The girls on it are more engaging than all the other apps combined.
beetalk.in.th: This is less of a dating app and more of a social chat app like line. Most Girls using this app don’t speak English. If your Thai writing skills are good this might work for you.
Pof.com: This site does not work very well in Thailand. It requires you to go through too many questions in the hope of matching you up with someone. No one has the time for this. Except those who do are desperate.
gotinder.com: Tinder is very hit and miss. The system works great but the results depend greatly on your text game and photo selection. I treat Tinder like a game app. I mess around with it when I’m stuck in traffic.
Don’t spend your time fussing over each girl and checking her profile. Use 2 seconds on each girl to make your choice. The reason is that the majority of girls wont match with you. Not because they don’t like you but because they have hundreds of guys already matched on their phone, and boatloads of new guys are added every day.
Attractive girls open their phone and the first swipe right will be a match. So when girls use tinder it’s a very different experience.
So you need to match to a girl who is online and then message her immediately hoping she’s not talking to someone else. This is a big ask.
If you painstakingly check every girl out you are wasting your time.
Culture of dating “Nice Guys”
Online dating in Bangkok would not be complete without talking about the Thai culture of dating nice guys.
From a westerners perspective it seems like the fashion is for girls to find and date “nice guys” or “good boys”.
These boys even dress to look more sweet and innocent. I’m not sure if this is byproduct of Korean fashion culture or whether its working to make more girls attracted to them.
What I do know for certain is that Thai girls are screening for “nice guys”.
I hear stories about Thai playboys from girls and how they cheat and lie to girls stringing them along for months when they already have a girlfriend.
I think girls are fed up with guys lying and cheating. So they are now seeking guys that display much fewer “bad boy” qualities.
I proved this first by changing my dating profile photos. I put more photos of me wearing pastel colours and playing with animals. The results were many more women contacting me.
My next test was wearing light coloured clothing. Not suits or shirts. Just what I normally wear but instead of black t-shirts they would be blue etc. The result was that my approaches resulted in more numbers and fewer rejections.
Family values is very important to Thai women. I think this value system is what fuels girls subconscious selection criteria. A man wearing a suit is perceived to have high value because of his potential to provide for a family.
So my conclusion is that if you are perceived as a “nice guy” girls will take that on face value and not resist your advances as much.
Girls who have studied overseas or have traveled a lot wont take you on face value. They will give you more of a chance to express your personality before coming to a conclusion.
Social Circle Hookups
Because Thai people are so notoriously shy they have moulded their social life to match their needs.
Meeting new people seems to mostly come from introductions through their social circle. Going to a party and getting introduced is the primary way people expand their social life.
When you are dating in Bangkok or in Thailand, you need to know that approaching people directly works but it is sometimes quite shocking to the people you do it to. Meeting people through your friends can be a very effective strategy.
How nice Thai women approach men
A girls friend or acquaintance will approach you. They will let you know that someone is interested in you and check to see if you are available.
You can ask some questions but the friend will not reveal which girl likes you. Not unless they get given the green light to proceed.
If you say you have a girlfriend then you will never find out who likes you.
If the girl that likes you approaches you directly, it will be so subtle that Its hard to know if she likes you. If she drops hints and the guy figure it out or isn’t interested then she wont keep up her pursuit for very long.
Thai women are very conservative during courtship and the man must be leading the interaction and make the bold moves.
Thai guys don’t like women who are the aggressors and so women have been socially conditioned to behave this way.
These are generalisations but are important to know if you are planning to date a more traditional girl.
Charm Formula’s Dating in Bangkok Rethink
Having a strong social circle will help you get dates and meet new people but it has its limitations.
You are at the mercy of your social group to find and meet girls. I’ve had friends in Bangkok for over 6 years and they never introduced me to anyone. So It’s inconsistent and fraught with problems.
However the right group of friends can open up doors and take you places you didn’t think possible. Who you know in this city does have an impact of your life in general and your dating life.
Dating Sites and App’s are nice but cannot even compare with direct approaching. For the shy guy dating sites are going to be your bread and butter. For the more socially savvy guys day game will be where you get most of your success.
I hope this gives you guys some insight into dating in Bangkok. Whatever you are looking for its out there. No matter what you are looking for its attainable. Just keep a smile on your face…
A smile is the most underrated social currency in Thailand. Wear a smile all the time and your life will improve.
To Learn more about Dating in Thailand Click here:
Article: Thailand Girls – How to date normal Thai girls