What the fuck is ‘outcome dependence’? Simply put it’s the want and desire for things in the future. Worrying about things in the future actually ruins your ability to attain these things.
By using a large part of your brains capacity, by worrying about something, you’re actually preventing your whole brain from focusing on what you’re trying to achieve.
Such is the case with women. The longer you stare at a woman calculating what you’re going to say when you get there, the less likely you’re going to go over there and talk to her. Outcome dependence is the bane of all men. But where does it come from? What is the root cause of outcome dependence?
The fear of not being good enough, not being handsome enough, not being rich enough, essentially just not being enough. But why do we have these thoughts? Why don’t we think that we are good enough?
The sad truth is that our society and the media are constantly bombarding us and selling something that isn’t true. “You need to be rich and handsome to get all the girls” – that’s what’s in all the commercials. I’ve worked in advertising for a long time, so I know this is true. Most meetings in advertising start off with people saying “Alright, how can we make people feel bad about themselves so they will buy our product?”
Movies don’t help either. Movies tell us a story that’s completely untrue but when told to us enough times we start to believe it. Sadly the news is also exactly the same.
Breaking through outcome dependence
Yes, the old adage of putting a woman on a pedestal. This comes from the thought that in some way she is better than you. Then when you add the belief (conscious or unconscious) that she is ‘rare’ in the world, you get the ‘fear of loss’.
Worrying about losing a particular woman comes from the belief that there is only one woman in the world for you – ‘The One’.
These 3 ideas – women being ‘rare’, ‘fear of loss’ or ‘the one’ all come from the illusion of scarcity. The belief that ‘good’ women are ‘rare’ or ‘beautiful women’ are rare. At the time of writing this article, we just crossed the 7 billion mark of how many people there are on earth. A number so big that we can’t even comprehend it. Yet, some men believe that the woman that they are interested in is somehow different or unique. That she has qualities that all the other 3,418,059,380 women don’t have. Which is insane, but there is a biological reason for this which I will address later.
Men who are raised by single mothers or mothers with absentee fathers, tend to put women on a pedestal more regularly than their ‘dual parent’ counterparts. So this might not apply to all of you reading this, but it does have some relevance for more than half of you guys.
So the reason why these guys put women on a pedestal is that, they were raised by women and women tend to educate men in a way that they logically think, that they would like to be treated. Now this woman having been a single parent has been left high and dry by her man who is gone off to do other things. She does not want her son to turn into that man who left her. Nor does she want her child to turn into the kind of man that would leave a woman. So she starts to educate her child in the belief that she is creating a man that women would really want. A ‘nice boy’, ‘a nice guy’, a really ‘good boy’ who will take care of the girls that he is around. A man programmed by his mother to be the kind of guy who would never abandon her and would also never abandon any other woman.
All men that are raised without a male influence tend to display similar traits. Some of them greater than others but generally speaking most men raised by women display the same qualities.
You cannot blame the women who raised you for giving you a disadvantage when compared with other men who were brought up with a strong male figure in their lives. Because the woman who raised you is doing her best despite the hardships of raising a child without a male influence and support.
Romantic comedies are the bane of the male existence. They teach men all the wrong things to do when courting women. There are extremely rare cases where romantic comedies actually hire relationship experts to help with the movie but generally speaking romantic comedies should be ignored by all men.
The principle of scarcity is used in all media across the world and is one of the greatest motivating forces that I know of in the world today. The psychological concept of scarcity is to make sure that we understand that when winter comes we better have some food ready. If the animals are eating all the plants we might want to move to a new location because there isn’t going to be enough for us later.
Women use scarcity to create emotional investment and to gain extreme control over men. If a woman can convince a man that she is rare and it is very difficult for him to find other women like her in his city, village or area, then she is using this scarcity to control him.
Things that cannot be easily replaced are valuable, what can be replaced easily is worthless. This is the root of all outcome dependency and the term used to describe this idea in the seduction community is ‘oneitis’.
Okay now I’m going to list some of the ways that you can decrease your one oneitis and your mental program of scarcity.
You need to start seeing women as flawed beings. They make mistakes, they fart and they do all the same stupid shit that you do. Stop revering them as unique angels that fell from heaven.
Just because you don’t have the skills to have many women in your life doesn’t mean that they’re rare. A very small percentage of the men in any society is having sex with all of the women. These are the men that have the social skills available to them to be able to attract women.
You also need to stop viewing women as surrogate mothers and view them more as sources of fun and companionship.
Many men have very outdated and very medieval views about women. They want a strong bond with the woman and want to feel a sense of ownership over that woman that they like. They want to show her off as though she is some kind of sports car or other valuable commodity.
Objectifying women in this way just sets you up for failure. Much like a man pouring all of his money into a sports car if it got stolen he would be devastated. This is a materialist view of women and if you’re with the wrong woman she will realize that she has total power over you because she knows that you will never leave her, under any circumstances.
Never date or seek out a woman you feel you can never abandon. That is a fool’s game that only has two paths:
Men need to stop looking for the security blanket of falling in love. It’s a woman’s job to be the emotional one. It’s her job to look for a commitment and it’s her job to convince a man with a lot of options that she is the best option. As nice as it is for a man to fall in love with a woman it makes him very unstable unless he is mature enough to understand what’s going on. Women feel a greater sense of attraction for a man who is able to walk away at any minute. Because they know that they have a high value man. This for her is an incredibly strong bond that she forms with a man.
Make women work for your affection
This is not an attempt to be rude, but women do enjoy working for men’s affection. It is a biological response that is completely natural.
If men are chasing women emotionally seeking them out to fulfil some deep desire, needing the feeling of being loved or wanting to be nurtured, then what you’re actually looking for is a mother. Men need to be emotionally dependent on themselves and not others. This women find incredibly attractive.
Always be sure that you have options. Always know that there are other women available to you if women want you to take them seriously then, they must seduce you. They must prove to you that they are worth it.
As long as you have an EMOTIONAL need for a woman, you will always fall into outcome dependency.
What your new goals should be.
Women are supposed to “tame” their savage man. Men are supposed to be out there braving the dangerous world. Men are supposed to face their fears constantly. It would be natural that it would be a woman’s job to convince a man to be her boyfriend, husband or a father.
It is not uncommon that most men chase commitment more than they chase sex. Instead of having an active life with interesting hobbies and powerful life goals, getting a women becomes his only focus.
Men are subconsciously walking around with a pillow adorned with the wedding ring. Why on earth would a woman be attracted to this man, who is so desperate to find someone? She can easily have him, and so she knows it. So scarcity is not working in his favor.
So why then should women chase, seduce and admire these men? These men don’t need to be chased or seduced. They are following her around like a little puppy.
This goes back to what I said above about scarcity. A man who doesn’t need to be won over is worthless. So now we see the great irony of the dating world: The more badly you want something, the less you will get it. Eliminate the emotional NEED for a woman and watch how women will chase you and fall in love with you.
Flipping scarcity on women by making yourself the kind of man that needs to be seduced will drive women crazy. By being detached you become more attractive, by creating a sense of insecurity in women. Women love the sense of insecurity because they are unsure whether they can win you over, therefore you have value and thus you are the kind of man who is worth pursuing. You have become rare and therefore they want to possess you before any other woman can.
Man’s biological drive to chase sex is probably the most powerful drive a man has above all else. This is because breeding with multiple partners has a much higher potential for the survival of his unborn children.
Women have a very strong biological drive to chase love. Making sure her man is in a committed relationship insures a greater success in having and raising children. So making a man fall in love with her ensures the survival of her unborn children by having a man around to help her.
Developing yourself into the kind of man that is not dependent on the outcome of any interaction will propel your success with women.
Now, get out there guys!