What Is Wrong With Me? – A Mans Guide

What Is Wrong With Me?

what is wrong with me, is primarily a man’s guide.

Most of us ask the question, what is wrong with me? at some point of our life. This guide is written for those men who are at that point of their life.

First answer the following question: Am I physically sick?

No? please continue reading. If yes please consult a doctor.

Do you do any of the following?

  1. Do you experience shaky feelings?
  2. Do you avoid people and places that are likely to make you uncomfortable?
  3. Do you focus on the bad stuff in your life rather than the good stuff?
  4. Do you have less interest in activities that you once enjoyed?
  5. Do you feel hopeless?
  6. Do you worry about the things you have not accomplished?
  7. Are you irritated easily?

Ok, if you said “yes” to any on these questions, just take a peek at the following.

1: What is wrong with me? – Do you experience shaky feelings?

One of the most over diagnosed symptoms is anxiety attacks. People rarely take the time to figure things out for themselves.

#1 culprit for feeling shaky is caffeine and before you roll your eyes there is a reason. You see I was diagnosed with anxiety attacks and my doctor put me on medication which didn’t help at all. A few years later I decided to cut down on my coffee intake and my shaky feelings drastically dropped. Most people are too busy to pay attention to the effect of caffeine because they just feel the rush of positive energy and sharp focus and don’t link the bad feelings later to the body recovering from the effects. So I was on my way to figuring out what is wrong with me.

Caffeine stimulates the adrenal system kicking the body into fight or flight mode. A natural system which is designed to get you away from danger when a tiger attacks you.

Problem is that caffeine turns the adrenal system on for a long time. Much longer than a tiger attack. The result you might have felt a few hours later when you get the post caffeine downer. The more caffeine consumed, the stronger the stimulant effect. So the size of the dose has a compound effect on the body.

Caffeine blocks the neurotransmitter called adenosine. Adenosine produces a calming effect on the body and a slowing effect of “mild rest” on the brain. When Adenosine is blocked the adrenal glands shoot out adrenaline.

Adrenaline is the bad boy responsible for your “fight or flight” response. Which does the following:

Increased heart rate – To help pump blood around your body

Body temperature – To warm your muscles in preparation for action

Blood pressure – To help the blood get where it needs to go

Blood sugar levels – To feed the muscles to run away from Mr Tiger

Adenosine when blocked also leads to an increase in dopamine levels which are associated with an elevation of mood.

Turning on this system all day every day has some pretty crazy effects on people with caffeine sensitivity. When I started drinking caffeine for work related reasons It had a very mild effect. Now after years of drinking I get high as a kite and talk verbal diarrhoea. I started getting weight problems associated with sleep problems.

Which brings me to my next point. The effects of caffeine have drastically different effects on different people. For me it took years to figure out that caffeine was messing up my sleep. Now if I drink even a mild tea the effects of that tea last into the early hours of the morning. At the height of my caffeine consumption I was getting 4 hours of sleep a night I put on 60kg+ and was eating 3 dinners at night. As soon as I cut out caffeine I started shedding weight and started sleeping better.

I still have the battle scars from this drug. I have “panda eyes” I look like I haven’t slept in years. I have stretch marks from loosing all the weight.

My nervous system has taken the biggest hit. Still working it out.

Make no mistake caffeine is a drug. It has multiple effects on the human body some you don’t even notice. Get rid of your “fake” anxiety and cut out caffeine. It might have a systemic effect through your entire life.

2: What is wrong with me? – Do you avoid people and places that are likely to make you uncomfortable?

This is social anxiety, here is a freaky fact. We all have it!

We are hard wired to avoid people we don’t know. If we lived in nature with your animal friends we would be scared as F**K of new people! Biologically our bodies don’t know that we don’t live in the jungle. If we were living wild our groups would be small and we would hardly ever meet other people outside our group. If we did the fear that they might kill or steal stuff is a real threat.

This function is in our brain and we train it when we are young. As we get older we shift or ideas about who is an enemy and ally. In modern society this fear trigger is not really appropriate anymore. We are surrounded by strangers all the time. Social anxiety can be overcome. There are many books on the subject.

3: What is wrong with me? – Do you focus on the bad stuff in your life rather than the good stuff?

This is a function of the brain that we use all the time. Called logic. We plan out things and build hypothetical models of events to better plan our next move. This future projection mechanism is useful for a lot of things. Storing food for winter for example. In a social context it can be detrimental.

Seeing or planning negative social events can drastically reduce your desire for them and turn you into a seriously negative person. Not being able to see the positive in anything because you are always planning for a “winter” that never comes. Always seeing the downside of any interaction prevents action. 

4: What is wrong with me? – Do you have less interest in activities that you once enjoyed?

Apathy is a state of indifference, or the suppression of emotions such as concern, excitement, motivation, and/or passion. Why get excited about anything if im just going to be disappointed. This is the kind of thing you hear people who are apathetic say all the time.

How the hell do you develop apathy?

Not feeling like you have the skill or ability to confront a challenge. You have learnt how to be helpless by believing that you do not have the skills to achieve some big life goals.

Being disappointed in yourself that you can’t attempt a challenge is a subconscious process that you might not be fully aware is happening. It creeps up on you and before you know it is affecting all aspects of your life.

The removal of apathy is a complex process which involves addressing the root cause. Learnt helplessness.

You need to relearn that you are capable of achieving your goals. You do this by making mini-goals or having an expert on a subject tell you that your original approach was incorrect and that why you didn’t get results.

Men mostly have a sense of apathy when it comes to women. This is a big life goal for many men and too many great guys fall victim to Woman Apathy.

We don’t deal with regular apathy but with woman Apathy. Seeing that there is a possibility to change your dating life or relationship potential is enough to perk up most guys ears. However for those who don’t believe it I suggest reading this article.

For guys who feel excited that they might not have all the answers on the female mind there is a boatload of research has gone into this by thousands of men all over the world. They have been compiling this info and testing it for years.

5: What is wrong with me? – Do you feel hopeless?

People with depressed mood can feel sad, anxious, empty, hopeless, helpless, worthless, guilty, irritable, ashamed or restless.

What is the root cause of this feeling?

We loose hope because we don’t feel like we can affect the outcome of a situation.

what is wrong with me

With events in the past we have no way of changing them. We can however change the emotional state we are in and work to overcome the neural chemistry producing these feelings.

I don’t think anti depressants are the way to go except under super extreme situations. Before you take that step there are a few things you can try.

The most effective thing I have found is This technique is credited to NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming). It is also called the Fast Phobia process.

This is a way to edit your memory of a past situation. Since your memory is reprogrammable just like relearning a skill. Once you change and edit the bad old memory like modelling clay you loose the negative association to it. It sounds like black magic and when I first heard of it I almost fell off my chair laughing. However after I did it I was a changed man.

I have implemented in into my course an have assisted many guys in overcoming all kinds of trauma. Truly one of the greatest finds of my life.

Don’t you dare pay for it! Its free on a number of sites just look it up and apply. There are some variations to the technique but don’t worry about that. Hey have little impact on the outcome.

The second reason we loose hope because we don’t feel like we can affect the outcome of a future situation. This has got to do with apathy and you should refer to: number 4 on this list

6: What is wrong with me? – Do you worry about the things you have not accomplished?

Men have this need to conquer their environment but the root of this is a bit more tricky. We feel this desire to accomplish things because it gives us a feeling of moving towards our goals. This feeling of moving toward our goals keeps reminding us that we are getting some ware. We are winning the game of life. We are successful. This is a biological drive. We all have this biological drive but it can get skewed and we can suffer a great deal because of its function.

If you worry about the things you have not accomplished then you suffer from outcome dependence. I’ve written about this subject before from the perspective of a being dependant to good outcomes with women. Outcome dependence simply put is the desire for things to go your way. Any other way impacts your emotional state.

7: What is wrong with me? – Are you irritated easily?

Irritation comes from being annoyed with a yourself or another’s actions. Not doing the things that you adamantly believe that they or you should do. This is having a vested interest in the outcome of situation. I’ve written about this subject before from the perspective of a being dependant to good outcomes with women.

We all ask “what is wrong with me?” at some point in our lives. Sometimes we worry about nothing and other times we have legitimate problems. It can be hard to figure out but we all need to keep pushing till we find answers to our issues.

what is wrong with me? written by Sky

(Image Credit: James Yeramian, via Flickr)

 

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