I was lonely much of my life and I never knew why.
I never got a clear answer till I started learning about the deep biology/psychology of women.
Besides the real answer: “I had no idea what I was doing”, there was a more tangible explanation to, why it took so darn long?
Listen up, you may think I have an attitude problem in my writing but I am doing this to help you find love, affection and get you laid not for political correctness.
I was lonely and now I am not. In this post I give you my personal story, but also a formula to transform. Something to help get your head straight and start taking action.
The reason you don’t have a woman is you have bad style, extreme ideas, no social skills or fear of the opposite sex. You do not even know you have extreme ideas or bad style, no social skills but I’m pretty sure you know you are afraid of approaching women you like.
Important Note: Do not believe nonsense in men’s magazines they offer no real advice. They offer fake advice that you cant actively apply to your life.
4 reasons why good people alone?
- Not selling your personal image: – If you are reading this, your style is probably a mess. A good question to ask yourself is if you were a girl would you rip off your own clothes? Can you honestly tell me you look like man who girls want to be seen with and get hot and heavy with in a Club? This is a super important point. I will probably write a book on it soon. For guys who disregard fashion and grooming you are destined to have the highest level characters in World or Warcraft.
- Extreme ideas: You are smart and need to prove it to other people. You like to argue with people because you like the challenge. You have extreme political social or religious views that stand in the way of you giving alternative ideas a try. You are rigid in your ideas in terms of how girls should behave.
- No social skills: You spend the majority of your time with male friends and computers. TV shows movies and games constitute 90% of your leisure time and the thought of going to a bar or club makes you feel exhausted. You want to be the guy who goes out and is the center of the party but you don’t know how to do it.
- Afraid of approaching women: You are scared of meeting new people and have anxiety about talking to strangers. Women you are attracted to give you the feeling like you are about to go to war. The terror makes you think of all the reasons it will go wrong and you land up convincing yourself not to do it.
The purpose of this post is to explain and illustrate what I mean and give you practical steps to change, based on my personal experience and being a dating coach.
Find your core identity – The way for a guy to get girls is to go is retain your chivalrous personality, but dress like you are some Badass DJ from Goa or a Hollywood Film Star. You want to have a bulletproof Identity that works for your personality, so when girls look at you the first thing they think is velvet sheets, Champaign and steamy lovemaking. How handsome you are plays a very small part in this.
“Normal” dating vs my mind numbing solitude
I saw other people enjoying their lives, doing normal things like going to the movies wearing matching t-shirts and holding hands, OK maybe that’s a bit odd, but you know the kind of couples I’m talking about. They were dating. They were in the dating game. In direct contrast, I was nowhere, or at least not in the traditional sense.
I thought I was just a normal guy getting normal guy dating action, but in relativity, I was just paying for girls dinners.
My life was like a bad habit magnet. I worked hard and didn’t work out. My mind and body were a mess. I was alone. I had friends and family who loved me, but is was a terrible life. However, at the end of the day, the important fact was I was single and there was nothing that was doing to change that. I didn’t consider myself a loser, because I was making a good salary and going out when my friends dragged me. I was occasionally lucky enough to get a girlfriend who would cheat on me, but I still thought I wasn’t a looser. People like me and I have a great personality. That’s what counts!!! Forget all this superficial stuff… I continued to be lonely and depressed.
Having a relationship with my laptop.
My computer was the closest thing I had to a girlfriend. I spent hours a day burning my cornea’s with the harsh glow of my laptop. I worked on my computer, played games on my sexy silver laptop, we watched movies together, we even looked at dating sites together. We spent hours browsing online dating site profiles, got bored and went strait to porn. Basically single people have very strange relationships their computer. When I turned off my laptop it was like saying good night to a girlfriend. I would roll over hit the light and pass-out.
I guess times have changed and people now have a relationship with their mobile device now, checking their tablets and cell phones incessantly and fapping sure is easier. But it is the same idea. It is a distraction from the pain of being alone. That is depressing.
Pain of life is too hard without love and affection
Don’t you feel this way? We crave experience, and feeling alive but we are prisoners in our own mind that holds us back from being truly happy.
As you know, being lonely is more painful than any physical pain and having someone leave you is worse than death. However, now in retrospect I barely remember its intensity. It was like a movie I watch of some other guys life.
Breakdown of where I was Failing
How honest do you want me to be here?
I was a nice guy to hang out with but I was a real loser. I never stepped out of my comfort zone… ever. I was a perfect gentlemen. Girls universally said I was nice, sweet and even good looking for a fat guy. I would listen to their problems and give them advice wondering why none of them saw me as a potential boyfriend. Then they would rammed by some brainless lowlife scumbag and then wonder why their lives were fucked messed up.
Here is the answer
You need to be good like a monk, but project a style that girls are a little bit afraid of. You need to look like a man who has confidence and has a powerful life.
The actions I took to get where I am
I figured out there was a difference between being good looking and and sexing up your style
Women see friends as friends and not lovers.
Attracting a mate and romantic love is a biological reaction connected with reproduction.
Mega deep imbedded in the back of our minds we want to reproduce in the best possible way for males.
You get lots of bland looking guys wearing cloths that don’t stand out with plain haircuts and khaki pants wondering why they don’t have women in their life.
Standing out signals you are not one of the generic khaki pants wearing guys and you cannot be treated like one.
Change your thinking and point of view on all things in your life or you will stay the same. Having the same issues and being alone.
All men are attracted to girls with some funky or strange style maybe women like that too.
Looks don’t matter if you have great game
I saw a guy who was in a car accident as a child who had a smashed up face take home beautiful models from a fashion club. So looks don’t matter if you have other qualities that trump them.
Attitude determines success with dating
You have to alter your mind and attitude. I am not advocating becoming a low life amoral scumbag. These guys get women, but they cant keep the ones they like?
If you are going to play the game, try out different attitudes to things and behaviors but remember you are a good person.
Attractive is better than being good looking and the ideas are interdependent but not necessarily inter related.
Good Guy push girls away because they are mentally rigid
Girls can perceive it when guys are judgmental or rule driven and have rigid thinking. Yes girls want to be submissive to their man, but they do not want to be controlled by some external moral judgment or guilt.
This means you are pushing girls away because you think too highly of yourself.
Go for a beautiful hot women who have made mistakes. Don’t expect to have lived in a convent or been pure and waiting for just you. You can try live by your self-righteousness but this will land you in the lonely bitter old man category.
Your DNA will be forever wiped from the evolutionary future of our species.
Being alone is not brave or a smart move at this point in your life. Being single is a copout for not being confident enough to brave the unknown. Not feeling the fulfilment your genetic destiny by having sex and exploring your feelings for women generates depression even in the strongest men.
Don’t become that weird philosopher hermit who makes garlic tea and lives in the forest.
Turn your life around by facing your fears and admitting that you don’t have all the answers. If you want help with this scary journey just ask.