Why Really Smart Guys Fail BADLY With Girls…
Hi guys, I’m Sky and this is a charm formula video, so we’re here today to talk about the 10 reasons why intelligent men fail with women and what to do about it. So let’s get to it.
Ok reason number 1: Smart guys are wrong, but they can see it or they won’t see it or admit it. Ok so this is a massive problem. Being wrong is something that a lot of people think is bad but actually you don’t get better at anything without failing or making mistakes. When they are in a conversation and something comes up and they find out to be wrong they kind of won’t admit that they are wrong, NO NO NO and they will get defensive about it.
Reason number 2: they are blind and arrogant. Ok so one of the big problems with being intelligent is that you think that you are better than everyone else, well because society has told you your whole life that intelligence is the best and that if you can do algebra . The fact of the matter is that everyone has different skills and everybody is better at different things so don’t fall into the trap of being an arrogant guy and don’t be blind to your arrogance. If you feel those things happening to you, if you feel like you are behaving in an arrogant way where people say “hey dude that’s a bit arrogant you know?”, change your ways.
Ok reason number 3: Poor social skills. Alright so this is a massive problem I see coming up again and again that guys prefer to read a good book or watch a great documentary on how the universe works, and then like going out and being social after some time they lack social skills, they lack the ability to go out and just talk to people, and they become terrified of the idea of doing that because well they are not experts, so this is the big problem of having poor social skills. It really really prevents guys from being able to do the things that they want to do, in other words: meet women.
Alright reason number 4: They psych themselves out. You know a guy would go into a book store and see a beautiful girl and be like wow that girl is just my type, she’s beautiful, she’s amazing and their brain will automatically go into this mode of trying to figure out what are all those things, what are all the reasons why I should go talk to that girl, then your brain becomes an asshole, telling you like oh you can’t have that girl because you are not handsome enough, you can’t have that girl because you weren’t born ruggedly good-looking, you are not a bad boy. There are a billion reasons why you won’t go up there and talk to her. Psyching yourself out of doing these things, oooh she’s going to reject you, she’s going to be a bitch, girls who dress like that are bitches. All these things are not real because you are smart, you have seen these things happen before and you have calculated your statistics of basically getting blown out by these girls. So don’t psych yourself out, let the interaction be what it is, throw yourself into the deep end and see what happens, don’t let society’s programming dictate how to react to these situations.
Ok reason number 5: Smart guys only seek informational solutions. You need to look at the real problem, the root of it. So this is a problem where a guy will see a beautiful woman and then run home and read or research all the solutions of how to deal with that problem. Now this doesn’t always work. Sometimes you have to have practice experience. You need practical experience you cannot always read books. And if you read too much information you’re actually just feeding that part of your brain that will come up with excuses because you will be like “oh I read this book and how women dress, and ah women who dress like this are bitchy so therefore don’t approach those kinds of women.” That shit is just not true, you need to test those things for yourself and you need to go out there and realize that women are not these evil monsters that your brain makes them out to be.
Alright reason number 6: They focus on logic instead of emotion. Well this is a really big problem. Women are very emotional creatures, and men are just so happen to be very logical creatures, and the problem is that men tend to think that men are not very emotional creatures, and that women are not very logical creatures. Women do practice a type of logic, women can hold down accounting jobs, or be a scientist and do all these things but it doesn’t come naturally to them as much as it does to guys. That’s why you see more men in these fields. On the other side men are also emotional creatures. For instance playing videos games is an emotional experience. We go to the cinema and watch a movie because it is an emotional experience. You know we don’t sit in a cinema and watch a horror movie and go like I’m just gonna sit here and not feel any of the emotions, and I’m not gonna get scared of this movie. So we are essentially just as emotional as women are, but to slightly lesser degree. We’ve got consistent emotions, and women have many multiple emotions in a much shorter space of time. Ok so get in touch with your emotional side. When you go to see a movie, cry a little bit, if you watch the green mile and you cried, tell people about it. Tell a girl about it, “oh my god I just balled my eyes out at the end of the green mile”. See what her reactions are when you say that, and I promise she will think of you in a different way. She will be like “hey this guy must be in touch with his emotions” rather than a guy who is like “oh the green mile was a good story it was directed by so and so, and it had a good cinematographer”. You know these are all facts that no one really cares about. The reason we watch movies is for the emotional angle, so focus on the emotions rather than the logic.
Alright reason number 7: They are not used to the challenge of the moment so this is a big problem where guys will not like throw themselves into the deep end. You go to a bar you see a beautiful woman and you are like “wow this woman is so amazing, she’s so gorgeous and then you don’t rise to the challenge of there being something difficult for you. You rather go back to your comfort zone and try to focus on the things that make you comfortable. When you are on the edge of your discomfort you don’t have to feel super uncomfortable, we don’t want to throw you into a tank of sharks and pirañas right? We don’t want to be that emotionally uncomfortable, what we just want you to do is keep pushing on the edge of your discomfort. So if you go to a bar, see how many girls you can talk to at the bar, don’t expect to like take them home, don’t expect to get their phone numbers, just see how many conversations you can have in an evening. Let that be the goal, rather than going for the home runs so to speak. Rather push on the edge of the things that are difficult, alright?
So reason number 8: Smart guys think that doing nice things is the smart way, when in fact any jackass can figure out how to kiss a woman’s ass. You know you will see some guys on the internet, they are called white nights. Guys will be like “I’m a feminist I believe in all the feminist ideologies, I think men should not objectify women by looking at their asses in public”, which is total nonsense, we are biologically programmed to look at women and their bodies, and see if they are a good genetic match for us. In fact it’s just kissing a woman’s ass. The only thing you are doing is you are basically broadcasting that you are not a man who tells the truth, you are trying to be nice to women, and essentially women don’t appreciate this. You know if a woman farts in your presence, you have to treat her like you would when your friend farts, and you go “god dam girl you fucking stink”, dam right and if you do that to her she’s going to be like “oh my god this guy is treating me like a normal human being”, that’s so unique, that’s so out of the norm, it’s so not average, and that makes you more interesting to women because they go “wow if this guy treats me like a normal person you know perhaps there is an opportunity to have a relationship with a person who treats me like a normal human being, instead of putting me on a pedestal and thinking that I’m the queen or a princess. So this is a thing that a lot of guys fail with, and you should pay a lot of attention to it.
Ok reason number 9: Always needing to be the expert, this is a massive problem. Guys are always like, well I’m having a conversation with a girl and she’s getting all her facts wrong so I’m going to correct her, I’m going to correct all her facts, “no you are fucking wrong about that, actually the real thing is dedededede, and I read this book by Tolstoy who said dadadadadadada, and the dictionary definition of that is dededdededede”. That works great in a business situation right? But it is terrible terrible when you are talking to an emotional creature. Women don’t care about the facts, right? They care about the emotions associated with the things you are talking about. So you must not always need to be the expert. It’s ok if she gets some of the information wrong, you don’t need to be vicious about it, don’t need to be right all the time, be wrong, being wrong is great, and it’s a great skill to have. Be the most wrong guy in the room, practice that, give it a go and see what it’s like. Try to play more into the emotional part of the story, the emotional this she’s talking about, try to feel the things that she’s feeling. Try to feel the emotional empathy with the things she’s talking about. She’s trying to talk to you on an emotional level, and if you are trying to talk to her on a logical level you are going to fail.
Reason number 10: They can’t deal with real and different emotions, so if they can deal with the fear and their emotions, then they tend to do other things to try to avoid it. The bar situation is a really good example, where a guy sees a woman and he has this fear build up inside him, he’s like “oh my god I want to go speak to her, I want to talk to her, she’s this beautiful girl, she’s like the perfect girl”, and then because he can’t deal with all the emotions, he basically prevents himself form going over there and speaking to her, so how can we deal with this, how can we deal with fear and other emotions? Well by slowly introducing yourself to some of these. So if you see a woman in a bar, instead of saying I want this woman to bare my children, I want to marry her, she’s like the perfect woman, don’t put her on that kind of pedestal. Rather think to yourself “well she’s a really attractive girl but is she funny? Let’s go find out if she’s funny.” Is she interesting, is she intelligent, does she fit the criteria that I want, the kinds of things that I’m looking for? Rather turn it into a mild interview process where you are trying to see if she’s fun. You are trying to see if she’s interesting, rather than letting your emotions take over.
Alright guys, that’s the 10 reasons why highly intelligent men fail with women, and if you guys felt that any of these things connected with you, well guess what you are probably highly intelligent. If you felt a connection with any of these 10 things, then those are the areas that you need to work on, or focus on. Try to admit you do have a problem in this area and be mindful of those areas. You are always going to be in a process of self-correcting right? And every time you find yourself behaving in that way you go “hey I just caught myself behaving that way”, and then try to readjust yourself, try to catch yourself doing these things, and if your friends are like “oh yeah dude, you are totally like that”, pay attention. Your friends know you better than you know yourself, so give it a shot. Try to be mindful of all of these things, and try to catch yourself doing these things and slowly but surely you will start to unlearn these bad habits.